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Friday, 17 June 2011

The Bee's Knees and Chocolate, Please...

Happy Friday J 

So this is me, posting on my blog two days in a row, because I’ve been urged by one of my fans(?) to post daily.  Well, I hate to be a big fat bubble-burster, but I really don’t see that happening, mainly because I have no life and therefore not really much to talk about!  But believe me when I say, I appreciate the request J  It tells me that at least one person is enjoying my writing, and that’s what this is all about.

Anyway, this particular *fan* is one of my neighbours, and she has asked me to post my brownie recipe here.  Very briefly, I live on a beautiful street with the best neighbours in the world J  Now, I can’t actually quantify that statement; I haven’t done the field research and I couldn’t PROVE, say, in a court of law, that they’re the Best Neighbours in the World.  But my gut tells me that they are, and my gut, much like Shakira’s hips, don’t lie….

So this is for Sil, lovely crazy lady that she is; my super easy brownie recipe!

Go to Costco and buy a box of Ghiradelli’s Triple Chocolate Brownie Mix.  Follow directions.  And there you have it.

Also, in browsing the news online this morning, I came across this rather interesting piece:

I'm not really sure how to comment on this...?  Maybe…let’s spare a moment to pray for the bees, shall we?

A phrase I never in my life thought I’d be uttering J

Ciao babies.

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Diary of a Bored Housewife

Kind readers, please note - this post is entirely stream-of-consciousness, so I'm not sure where it's going to go but I'll try to make it interesting for you and cathartic for moi :)

So here it is, June 16th already, and I'm not sure where the past couple of weeks have gone.  I know I spent a good portion of it sitting outside with my cats and doing Brain-Teaser puzzles.  What a full life I lead!!

Pardon the sarcasm (it's just my nature) because I really am grateful for all that I have.  I'm out of work but I'm not hungry (as if!), I'm not homeless and I'm perfectly healthy.  Some would say I should be skipping in the street and throwing my beret up in the air, because I have it all!   Well, okay.  I have a LOT, I will concede to that.  But what I want, what I really, really want, is a job that I enjoy and feel fulfilled in.  And apparently, I may as well wish for a pet unicorn, because it just. ain't. happenin' least, not if I stay on the path I've been on, lo these many years.

I search daily for jobs, using the usual resources, and it's not really getting me anywhere.  The greatest problem I have, though, is I'm not excited by any of the prospects I do find.  I'm starting to realize that I need to get outside of my box and figure out a) what it is I really want to do and b) a way to make a living doing it.  Because here's my conundrum - I'm middle-aged and I can make a good living doing what I've done for the past 20 years, which is industrial sales.  IF anyone will hire me, that is!  I mean, I've been on a few interviews and the feedback is always extremely positive, yet...I don't get hired.  So what's the X factor here?  Am I simply at that age where I'm considered "undesirable"?  A friend of mine is convinced that's the case, but I'm not ready to accept that (plus he is, quite frankly, a TOOL).  I still firmly believe in the *wonder that is me*, and am honestly, sincerely surprised when employers decide not to hire me.  Meaning I am either extremely confident or extremely deluded, I suppose.  OR....and here's where it gets the Universe trying to direct me to boldly go where I've never gone before?  I kind of love that idea and I want to have faith in it :)

Anyway, I found this link through a Facebook post, so I'm going to try the simple exercise recommended and report back.  Here's the link:

Wish me luck!  And if any of you have discovered your own life purpose, I'd love to hear about it :)

OK, I'm going to lighten up now and note three great things about being unemployed:
  1. I finally have the time to make a paste of baking soda and vinegar and use it to clean my plastic AND cloth patio furniture.  You can't imagine the satisfaction and enjoyment derived from seeing all that dirty build-up simply slough away, as if by magic.  So rewarding!
  2. I also have plenty of time to sit and consider my next move.  For example, I'm thinking of going for a pedicure today.  Now, I've been thinking about this since yesterday, so at this point, I've invested roughly TEN WAKING HOURS just thinking about it, and I still haven't come to a decision!  How fortunate am I to have the luxury of time-suckage like this?  Very.
  3. I am going to embark on an estimated three-day project, whereby I'll do a full inventory of my beauty products and then catalogue same on an Excel spreadsheet.  I'm sooo not kidding about  Actually, it could easily stretch out to five days, if I allow for the inevitable interruptions such as repeatedly checking the Weather Network, opening and closing the fridge door, or running up and down all the stairs in the house for no apparent reason.  OH, and sitting outside with the cats and doing Brain-Teaser puzzles.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Season of the Bitch

I’m a little bit cranky (and a little bit rock ‘n’ roll?), because today is the 1st of June, which in my world, is officially the first day of summer.  To me, all of the seasons start on the first day of the month – December 1st starts winter, April 1st starts spring, June 1st starts summer and September 1st starts fall.  Solstices and equinoxes mean nothing to me, renegade that I am.

So yeah, it’s summer in Canada.  Notice I’m not *woo-hoo-ing* or *yay-ing* or expressing any delight or glee in the fact that it’s summer, and that is simply because it’s the one season I truly despise.  Sure, in my tanorexic youth I loved it, but I was an idiot (aren’t all youths, really?).  But these days, as surely as the Griswalds whistle zippity-doo-dah out of their assholes, I mutter *bleepity-bleep-bleep* every day that I wake up, look outside and see the sun blazing AGAIN.  Although, to be fair to the sun, I do have a modicum of affection for it; after all, it sustains life on this planet and that deserves respect.  But the HEAT….ugh, the heat L  That’s the dealbreaker for me.  What’s to enjoy about being hot, sweaty, and for far too many, SMELLY all the livelong day?  *bleepity-bleep*

Even my cats hate summer.  They’re not outdoor cats, so they really look forward to and enjoy the time I allow them to play outside each day.  As soon as I open the door and yell, “Outside???”, I hear a loud *BA-BUMP* from the top floor of my house as they hurl themselves off my bed and come flying down the stairs. Yet in summer, their elation quickly turns to sorrow as they’re faced with a blast of heat in their furry faces, and their favourite spots on the lawn are too hot to walk on, let alone loll in.  So they slowly saunter over to my neighbour’s concrete, shady porch and flop themselves down and stare at me.  They remind me of lions on the Serengeti, eyeing their prey and knowing they need to kill it, but are so parched and feverish that starvation seems like a less painful option than actually attempting to move about in the boiling heat.  *bleep*

I read a survey last year that claimed 48% percent of Canadians declare summer to be their favourite season.  Hmmm.  Interesting. I would have guessed at least 75%, based on the sheer number of jubilant humans I am forced to endure every time it’s hot and sunny outside.  So what’s happening, I suspect, is that there are more summer-haters out there than will openly admit to it.  After all, it is a controversial stance to take, especially here in Canada where so many claim to hate winter (beautiful, clear, crisp, cool I yearn  for thee!).  Well, I’m not afraid to say it and I’m not afraid of annoying the summer-lovers (some are members of my own family, bless their cray-cray little hearts).  Perhaps by openly expressing my hatred of this most unpleasant of seasons I will encourage the closet summer-haters to come out and be bitchy with me!  It would be cold comfort (ha!) but better than none at all.  In the meantime, I bitch alone. *BLEEP*