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Friday, 15 July 2011

"WTF?" is the New Black

Just to clarify for those who are scratching their heads over the title of this post, The New Black is a term used by the fashion industry to describe the latest fad, trend or style.  You see, kids, when it comes to fashion, black is always in style, so to label something as “the new black” is to say it’s the hottest new thing (or thang).  Which is why I’ve bogarted the term for this post, because it seems to me that public profanity has reached such a level of acceptance in our society that it’s achieved “new black” status.  Like, seriously…WTF??

Don’t get me wrong; I’m no prude by any stretch of the imagination.  I’ve never hesitated to let a good curse word fly when the situation calls for it, and I may or may not be known as someone with quite the filthy mouth.  I’m not offended by the use of profanity I’m hearing out there in the world.  I’m just surprised by it.  Like, when did it become okay for people to freely drop f-bombs at work all day long?  Or for kids playing in their own backyards to curse and swear without seeming to care if their neighbours or even their parents can hear them?  I’ve definitely seen an increase in the use of the “F” word in print lately, such as in magazines and newspapers, and even my 67-year-old mother-in-law used the word “cocksucker” recently to describe a friend of her husband’s!   It’s just….weird.  Swearing is now mainstream and you know what?  That kind of sucks because swear words were a lot more fun when they were BAD WORDS.  But how bad can a word be when old ladies and little kids use it on a regular basis?  Not that f-ing bad, I guess...*lol*

So what else is going on with me?  Well, I’m still unemployed and am NOT enjoying that.  It’s really, really, really boring, you guys.  I mean, I always try to look at the bright side of all situations, and I do believe that I will find a great job….but when???  I’m now at the 20-weeks unemployed mark, and according to a recent statistic on unemployment in these recessionary times, that’s not unusual nor should it be cause for alarm.   Well, I’m a bit alarmed, mofos!  And also a bit tired of talking/thinking about it, so….I’m changing the subject….*oy*

I was at the mall earlier today, not to shop but to *data gather* with my friend.  She has a cool idea for a business venture and we’re going to see where that takes us.  ANYWAY…as I was walking around, I noticed that absolutely everything in the place is on sale, and I also noticed that a couple of stores had some fall merchandise in already!  THIS is something that makes me oh-so-very-happy J  So much so that I want to <squeal> and kick up my heels J J J  Summer’s half over and nobody’s happier about that than I am!  However, we’ll have some scorching hot days to endure before it finally wraps up; this coming weekend is forecasted to be hot, humid and hellish.  I intend to spend it in my basement, reading the August issues of InStyle, Marie Claire and Lucky, which are all featuring fall fashion previews :)  *DROOL*

And that brings us to the end of today's post.  I apologize for not posting as frequently as I should, and I apologize for the uninspired content of this post.  I’m not my usual *shining star* self these days, but I know it’s temporary.  Thanks for all the love and support, kids J


Friday, 17 June 2011

The Bee's Knees and Chocolate, Please...

Happy Friday J 

So this is me, posting on my blog two days in a row, because I’ve been urged by one of my fans(?) to post daily.  Well, I hate to be a big fat bubble-burster, but I really don’t see that happening, mainly because I have no life and therefore not really much to talk about!  But believe me when I say, I appreciate the request J  It tells me that at least one person is enjoying my writing, and that’s what this is all about.

Anyway, this particular *fan* is one of my neighbours, and she has asked me to post my brownie recipe here.  Very briefly, I live on a beautiful street with the best neighbours in the world J  Now, I can’t actually quantify that statement; I haven’t done the field research and I couldn’t PROVE, say, in a court of law, that they’re the Best Neighbours in the World.  But my gut tells me that they are, and my gut, much like Shakira’s hips, don’t lie….

So this is for Sil, lovely crazy lady that she is; my super easy brownie recipe!

Go to Costco and buy a box of Ghiradelli’s Triple Chocolate Brownie Mix.  Follow directions.  And there you have it.

Also, in browsing the news online this morning, I came across this rather interesting piece:

I'm not really sure how to comment on this...?  Maybe…let’s spare a moment to pray for the bees, shall we?

A phrase I never in my life thought I’d be uttering J

Ciao babies.

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Diary of a Bored Housewife

Kind readers, please note - this post is entirely stream-of-consciousness, so I'm not sure where it's going to go but I'll try to make it interesting for you and cathartic for moi :)

So here it is, June 16th already, and I'm not sure where the past couple of weeks have gone.  I know I spent a good portion of it sitting outside with my cats and doing Brain-Teaser puzzles.  What a full life I lead!!

Pardon the sarcasm (it's just my nature) because I really am grateful for all that I have.  I'm out of work but I'm not hungry (as if!), I'm not homeless and I'm perfectly healthy.  Some would say I should be skipping in the street and throwing my beret up in the air, because I have it all!   Well, okay.  I have a LOT, I will concede to that.  But what I want, what I really, really want, is a job that I enjoy and feel fulfilled in.  And apparently, I may as well wish for a pet unicorn, because it just. ain't. happenin' least, not if I stay on the path I've been on, lo these many years.

I search daily for jobs, using the usual resources, and it's not really getting me anywhere.  The greatest problem I have, though, is I'm not excited by any of the prospects I do find.  I'm starting to realize that I need to get outside of my box and figure out a) what it is I really want to do and b) a way to make a living doing it.  Because here's my conundrum - I'm middle-aged and I can make a good living doing what I've done for the past 20 years, which is industrial sales.  IF anyone will hire me, that is!  I mean, I've been on a few interviews and the feedback is always extremely positive, yet...I don't get hired.  So what's the X factor here?  Am I simply at that age where I'm considered "undesirable"?  A friend of mine is convinced that's the case, but I'm not ready to accept that (plus he is, quite frankly, a TOOL).  I still firmly believe in the *wonder that is me*, and am honestly, sincerely surprised when employers decide not to hire me.  Meaning I am either extremely confident or extremely deluded, I suppose.  OR....and here's where it gets the Universe trying to direct me to boldly go where I've never gone before?  I kind of love that idea and I want to have faith in it :)

Anyway, I found this link through a Facebook post, so I'm going to try the simple exercise recommended and report back.  Here's the link:

Wish me luck!  And if any of you have discovered your own life purpose, I'd love to hear about it :)

OK, I'm going to lighten up now and note three great things about being unemployed:
  1. I finally have the time to make a paste of baking soda and vinegar and use it to clean my plastic AND cloth patio furniture.  You can't imagine the satisfaction and enjoyment derived from seeing all that dirty build-up simply slough away, as if by magic.  So rewarding!
  2. I also have plenty of time to sit and consider my next move.  For example, I'm thinking of going for a pedicure today.  Now, I've been thinking about this since yesterday, so at this point, I've invested roughly TEN WAKING HOURS just thinking about it, and I still haven't come to a decision!  How fortunate am I to have the luxury of time-suckage like this?  Very.
  3. I am going to embark on an estimated three-day project, whereby I'll do a full inventory of my beauty products and then catalogue same on an Excel spreadsheet.  I'm sooo not kidding about  Actually, it could easily stretch out to five days, if I allow for the inevitable interruptions such as repeatedly checking the Weather Network, opening and closing the fridge door, or running up and down all the stairs in the house for no apparent reason.  OH, and sitting outside with the cats and doing Brain-Teaser puzzles.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Season of the Bitch

I’m a little bit cranky (and a little bit rock ‘n’ roll?), because today is the 1st of June, which in my world, is officially the first day of summer.  To me, all of the seasons start on the first day of the month – December 1st starts winter, April 1st starts spring, June 1st starts summer and September 1st starts fall.  Solstices and equinoxes mean nothing to me, renegade that I am.

So yeah, it’s summer in Canada.  Notice I’m not *woo-hoo-ing* or *yay-ing* or expressing any delight or glee in the fact that it’s summer, and that is simply because it’s the one season I truly despise.  Sure, in my tanorexic youth I loved it, but I was an idiot (aren’t all youths, really?).  But these days, as surely as the Griswalds whistle zippity-doo-dah out of their assholes, I mutter *bleepity-bleep-bleep* every day that I wake up, look outside and see the sun blazing AGAIN.  Although, to be fair to the sun, I do have a modicum of affection for it; after all, it sustains life on this planet and that deserves respect.  But the HEAT….ugh, the heat L  That’s the dealbreaker for me.  What’s to enjoy about being hot, sweaty, and for far too many, SMELLY all the livelong day?  *bleepity-bleep*

Even my cats hate summer.  They’re not outdoor cats, so they really look forward to and enjoy the time I allow them to play outside each day.  As soon as I open the door and yell, “Outside???”, I hear a loud *BA-BUMP* from the top floor of my house as they hurl themselves off my bed and come flying down the stairs. Yet in summer, their elation quickly turns to sorrow as they’re faced with a blast of heat in their furry faces, and their favourite spots on the lawn are too hot to walk on, let alone loll in.  So they slowly saunter over to my neighbour’s concrete, shady porch and flop themselves down and stare at me.  They remind me of lions on the Serengeti, eyeing their prey and knowing they need to kill it, but are so parched and feverish that starvation seems like a less painful option than actually attempting to move about in the boiling heat.  *bleep*

I read a survey last year that claimed 48% percent of Canadians declare summer to be their favourite season.  Hmmm.  Interesting. I would have guessed at least 75%, based on the sheer number of jubilant humans I am forced to endure every time it’s hot and sunny outside.  So what’s happening, I suspect, is that there are more summer-haters out there than will openly admit to it.  After all, it is a controversial stance to take, especially here in Canada where so many claim to hate winter (beautiful, clear, crisp, cool I yearn  for thee!).  Well, I’m not afraid to say it and I’m not afraid of annoying the summer-lovers (some are members of my own family, bless their cray-cray little hearts).  Perhaps by openly expressing my hatred of this most unpleasant of seasons I will encourage the closet summer-haters to come out and be bitchy with me!  It would be cold comfort (ha!) but better than none at all.  In the meantime, I bitch alone. *BLEEP*

Saturday, 28 May 2011

For Canadian lovers of all things beauty-related.

OK, ladies, I heard this website mentioned on CityLine and finally had a chance to surf over and take a look.  It's fabulous!  They offer free shipping on orders over $75.00 (how easy is that?) and the great thing is, some of the lines they carry were previously not available in Canada, such as Lipstick Queen and Kevyn Aucoin.  Definitely worth a look!  The link to the website is posted below:

Memories. Hiding in the corners of my mind....

So I've been out of work for almost four months now, and as such, have been living in tees and juicies for the most part.  Mind you, when I go out somewhere (such as the grocery store or even "The Walmart"), I of course dress appropriately, say, in a tee and cargo pants.  But, with the possibility of employment looming (I'm optimistic, okay??), I find myself needing to get my summer work wardrobe organized.  Normally this is a somewhat enjoyable (read: time-limited) task for me, but now, there's a problem.  You see, there was a day back in early March where I decided I was going to DE-CLUTTER and dedicated an entire day to same. I became a whirling dervish of organization and cleaned out all of the upstairs closets.  BAGS of clothes, shoes, purses and whathaveyou were given to charity, leaving my closets neat and half-empty and yours truly soooo freakin' happy :) 

Fast forward to today.  Summer work wardrobe needs to be assessed and organized.  But holy hell, where are all my summer work clothes?? I mean, I found some, but definitely not ALL of them.  Did I throw them out or give them away?  Did I put them somewhere else?  Did I take some to the dry cleaner and forget about them?  All questions that can only be answered with the phrase that has become one of the Top Ten phrases I utter every day... "I don't remember".....<sigh>.  Memories, hiding in the corners of my mind....I don't know how to retrieve them!  Does anyone???? 

One thing that's making me very happy these days is the weather around these parts :), cloudy, and rainy.  Always my favourite weather system, and especially so at this time of year, when it could so easily be hot, sunny and blech-y.  And it will be that, any day now, so I'm thanking the Universe for this respite from the brutality that is summer, while I'm bracing myself for the inevitable.  <sigh> 95 days until September 1 and you'd better believe I'm counting....

OH, and I will also take this opportunity to post about the perfect peachy-coral lip gloss, which I found this week at the MAC counter :) The new, "Surf Baby" collection hit counters on Thursday, so naturally I was there first thing in the a.m. to check it out.  I exercised great restraint and only purchased two products, as follows:

My Paradise Cheek Powder - probably the star of the collection, certainly one which has been buzzed about on the blogs the most.  I have to give MAC props as this is a really beautiful and somewhat unique colour - a deep, intense peach with a generous overlay of gold sparkle.  Kudos, MAC :)  BUT.  The price is out of line, dudes.  $32.00 for a mere 12g of product??  Come on, now.  You're not Chanel, okay?  Remember who your customers are and get some sense.  I mean, yes, I bought it in spite of the ridiculous price, but I DON'T have any sense. 

Strange Potion Lipglass - the aforementioned perfect peachy-coral lip gloss.  And it really is perfect :)  The perfect shade, the perfect level of shimmer (are the shimmers gold or silver?...they're so subtle I can't even tell...) and perfect pigmentation.  This gloss appears on my lips exactly as it appears in the tube, which was enough to make me exclaim (loudly), "Ooooh, awesome!!!" the moment I tried it on in the store.  LOVE :) 

And now I must go and prepare a, "Summer Work Clothes I Need to Purchase" list :)  Thanks to any/all who read my ramblings.  Your comments are always welcome.


Thursday, 26 May 2011

It was bound to happen...

I have created a blog.  I'm a "blogger" (hilarious word).  I guess what really drove me to this is being out of work and having way too much time on my hands.  I've been told by friends and family that I should have a blog, I do!  Of course, I now have writer's block so stay tuned, as I will definitely return when my mojo does :)